The last few days, in my bits and pieces of quiet…….these things, memories, their chatter won’t stop. So compelled to remind me of this and that. Some memories, like the opening and closing of a door, come and go. Some so alive. Their voices not fleeting. Palpable. Tangible. Undeniable. Unstoppable.
So, here we are. Pen to paper. Memories. Random to most. Yet, for me, partnered with the tangible….. in the then. I’m being implored to convey, do watch for the names of those who shared today.
Every night, I’d lay in bed. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was there, in his recliner, the M.A.S.H theme playing.
Says Anxious and UNsettled
The never-ending, torturous tunes of 61 Country on our car radio.
Says Annoyed and ANNOYED
Dancing in my tiny pink Tu-Tu, lip-syncing to Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton.
Says Happy and Sad
Mother as she lay in that hospital bed. Her life lost.
Says HEARTbroken and Sad,
RESENTful and Forced
The “blue house”. Rage sets it a blaze. Strength screams,”You didn’t break me!” Broken cries “Why?”, and Longing dreams of “what if.”
Her eyes, the breath of sorrow. Lost in herself. Mother.
Says UNworthy and Bitter
My Easy Bake Oven. Her treats so delectable. Could it be true?
Says COMFORTed and Free
My pink Holly Hobby Bedspread, always made. I followed the rules.
Says Cozy and Happy
Monsters under my bed, or so my baby sitter said.
Says Scared and Unsafe
Monopoly and Life……against my brother. I often lost and was a sore loser.
Singing myself to sleep. Every night.
SaysTenacious and BROKEn
Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
The crack of light, the door she hid behind, protect she did not,
as a mother should.
Screams Paralyzed and Enraged and Empty
The rest have gone quiet.