Save Yourself

Whip in hand
Our sense to see
diverted
Our eyes close
farther we fall

Crack of the whip
Our minds
manipulated and mesmerized
Our hearts
bonded yet bleeding
raw and ravaged

The sting of leather
he strikes
Cunning and callous
He aims, as always
where he is certain
he will hurt the most

Skillfully now
he garners our pity
unending, tearful apologies
Victory
Repeat, End, Repeat
Our logic, losing to the screams of lies

Until
the faint smell of leather
whistling of a whip
Surely not again
­­Yes again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And……again.
A labrynth of madness
A massacre of our hearts
Save yourself

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4 thoughts on “Save Yourself

  1. This entry disturbs me because I think I can digest the idea of a person who is in pain acting out in pain, more than I can identify with someone who hurts for pleasure. Perhaps this is because I have some sadistic tendencies which I would rather suppress instead of discussing them. Food for thought.

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    • Yes. And I appreciate your interpretation. For me it wasn’t so much that he did it for pleasure. But sociopaths have no heart, in my opinion. My hurt was irrelevant. It was all a game for him. Nothing was real. He took what he wanted and nothing else mattered. He knew his actions would hurt me. And not just hurt, but where he knew I’d already been hurt the most. Yet him did them anyway. Over and over. And in the end. I let him.

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    • KP, the very comments that you use to express his behaviors suggest that he did, indeed, do it for pleasure. Perhaps it was in a subconscious way that it occurred, but the underlying current was sadistic. It is that sort of behavior which I have a hard time coming to terms with, I think because of the disconnect to reality. My illnesses have often been severe, but I (believe) I have a solid connection to human emotion and empathy. Sociopaths do not, which is why I am bothered by the idea so badly. My lack of understanding disconnects me from them, just as their lack of empathy isolates them from other people.

      Liked by 1 person

    • You are right. I suppose I didn’t want to believe he would/could hurt me for pleasure. It’s hard enough to embrace the idea he did it subconsciously. I tend to think this knowledge should make it easier to let go. But it’s too troubling to think a person would intentionally inflict this kind of emotional abuse. Surreal. And so the heart argues with logic because the idea of a human having no connection to empathy or emotion is so troubling. Unfortunately, they are expert manipulators.

      Liked by 1 person

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