motionless

Shall I share just how I sat
motionless
their echoes of innocence
kites dancing in the wind
a whisper in the background
of the wreckage.

My gaze held by
nothing in particular, as
four pieces of me
played below this
worn old linoleum
where I sat.

Where I wandered,
“Do they know that I don’t know how?”
And then
my sorrowful solace
abruptly interrupted
unbroken voices clamoring,

“What’s for dinner?”
I believe I answered
though I don’t remember
and then the sound
of carefree clip clops
of footsteps down the stairs.

Undefiled laughter
as I sat
life, her energy unable
to hold me up
wandering
“Could they see it?”

Hoping not
choosing to assume
they did not see
they have not and
will never see
what is missing in me
in these moments in time
ripped away and lost
to lonely.

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